Loving the invisible

I had one of those moments I feel like many of us have; where you’re interacting with someone, and they do or say something that just rubs you the wrong way. That next thought in your head is how “Insert Love Interest Name Here” would have done or said the right thing; cause they just know you better. Let’s be honest! As much as we are confident, intelligent individuals, almost everyone has had a moment like this. That’s the problem with falling for a ghost. They are never there, they always have something or someone keeping them away. And in the end, they always do what ghosts do best.

Disappear. Poof!

I think these are some of the most dangerous relationships. It always seems like they leave out just enough information to allow us to happily fill in the blanks with all the “right” answers. We build them up in our heads because they aren’t there enough to actually show us who they really are. They come by often enough to keep us interested but not long enough to become tied down.

The invisible are easy to love. I think that’s what makes ghosting someone hurt so badly. Unless there was a giant fight beforehand, you have no ability to look back and remind yourself of that moment and hate you know you should have in your heart. They just vanish into the mist after smiling at your face. There is no moment of hate or anger to fuel yourself with. You know you should hate them. But you just miss them. They leave this hole in your spirit that you are becoming more desperate to fill. So you do the thing all crazy exes do and stalk the shit out of their socials which always makes you feel a thousand times worse. Cause not only do you never look as good as the new person, but you have also become the crazy ex. The level-headed becomes the manic; the peaceful becomes the rageful. People always see the results of the bad ending and turn their noses up, thinking, “Thank gods, I would never.” but you put anyone through enough shit for long enough the strongest can break.

(Originally written on Dec. 19, 2022)