It’s probably not cancer

My dad loves the saying “When it rains it pours”, which has been the story of my life for a while. Just when you think you might see the sky the thunder clouds roll back in. 

I noticed a physical difference in my chest suddenly appear. I pointed it out and was immediately shut down by my Ex. 

“It’s nothing, you can barely tell.”

Well, that led me to do the thing all women should constantly do and I checked. And sure enough, I find a lump. One emergency mammogram and an ultrasound later, it’s probably not cancer. But since I have fibrous tissue it’s hard to tell. So I’m waiting for the surgery consult with the specialist now. I'm sitting listening to outdated music and trying to wrap my head around the last 24 hours. 

After being informed I was probably not in danger I went off to a dance class I had signed up for when I had higher spirits. But off I went, despite the terrible weather. Thankfully I did. Cause as I pulled up to the class I received a text

Dad had a stroke

I was halfway to him so I just pulled out of the parking spot and raced to the hospital. He was in decent spirits by the time I arrived. The only issue; he had the memory of a goldfish. He asked the same few questions a hundred times. He couldn’t remember who found him, or how long I had been there. Everyone just saw a goofy guy, which he can be, but they didn’t realize the severity of what was going on. I still don’t think I’ve gotten them to understand. It’s been nearly 24 hours and no MRI yet. 

I’m the only family member in the area and the eldest child so taking care of the dog and medical stuff falls to me. Since my dad couldn’t remember the month he sure didn’t remember the picture on the fridge. It was from a Photo Booth. Three shots of my dad and brother dressed up drinks in hand beaming. It was at my cousin's wedding. The wedding I was told was a small intimate affair even my brother wasn’t invited to. The problem with boomer lies is they forget technology exists. The two stilt walkers in full-LED suits and flying my brother in secret for the wedding tell a different story. 

I’m still disowned.

There I was laying on the floor in the hall with his 14-year-old dog at 1 am so he doesn't feel lonely. And I’m the excommunicated. I’m the problem, the mean one, the villain. 

All I want is a family and love. Heaven forbid someone faithfully in my corner. You know a family and a husband. But maybe one that liked me.