Glamping for the Soul

Is it truly camping when you have air conditioning?

There is a peace one finds when camping that I think everyone should experience at least once in their life if not once a year. Granted I say this as I sit in my RV with my AC blowing on me, next to my fridge full of food. But the sentiment stays the same. Last night I sat out by the campfire until there was nothing but embers. No cell service, disconnected from technology and the world. I turned to my partner and explained how we could have a Sunday night like this all the time. He countered that he was more than happy with the Sunday nights he has at home. I realized at that moment how different we are. It’s the calm and impending sense of adventure that I love. He enjoys the calm but thrives in the routine. I slowly realized we had changed as people. Where I had once sought comfort and a sense of normalcy and place, I now craved change. We settled on maybe living like this for half a year when we no longer had animals, but I know in the back of my mind it’s not what I want, nor is it what I will do. I like our calm Sunday evenings pilled on the couch with the animals watching TV. But that’s something I can have on occasion.

I refuse to live a mundane life. I only have one and I’ve spent so much time chasing something I thought would make me happy because everyone told me how much I needed it. While others told me I was incapable of having it. There was a child on this trip, in fact, there were many. It feels like I blinked and all of our college friends in the group have left, and I’m left with these strangers and their loud brood. I don’t mean to say they have grown up to have children. Only one of the original crowd has had children. He and his wife set up this trip every year. It used to be a raucous event where we all caught up with each other. This time though it was all new friends of theirs. I know that having a child changes your priorities but it’s sad to see the chasm that has formed over time. I have nothing in common with these people. I hardly recognize the ones I used to know. And the ones I missed the most didn’t even show and I don’t blame them. There was one child that was older and somehow loosely associated with the group that was a vile little shit. The first thing out of her mouth was something along the lines of “Well you failed at college” I don’t even remember the context in which she decided to interact with me. I laughed and said made a joke about how my two masters clearly agreed with her and paddled on. I missed her next jab which was along the lines of ‘Oh yeah, well you fail at life!’. Ahhh children and their quippy one-liners that make little sense but are outright bitchy.

The old college friend apologized for her behavior and said it was a common occurrence. I told him someone needs to warn her about picking fights with strangers since some of us, including myself, don’t fight fair. I have no problem making a 12-year-old cry. He looked at me with an odd look and I just said I would tell her what every 12-year-old fears that she’s ugly and fat. He laughed, his wife looked appalled.

But for the first time in a long time, I realized I didn’t fail at life. It was an odd feeling to realize a child’s meaningless comment would have hurt me a few weeks ago and now it is just a laughable attempt and trying to assert dominance. But that’s what camping can do. A few days away from the world and the constant feed of information and subliminal messaging and I’m happy. I’m clear-headed. Don’t get me wrong I’m still heartbroken and lost, but I know that I’m not failing. I’m just still on a journey. Camping sure has a weird way of clearing out your head, and again I encourage everyone to try it.