And so it begins....

How do I explain to the people closest to me I’m leaving for god knows how long to sort my shit out (some of it about them) in a public setting. Some people I’ve simply told that I’m taking some time for myself and enjoying the free time while I can. I haven’t technically lied. They do know that I am not doing “great,” in their words, but like usual, they don’t know how bad it really is.

But that’s the joy of mental health struggles. Unless you've been through it, you don’t really understand. My parents are Boomers, and as such, they have never dealt with any of their past trauma in any healthy manner. They know I’m on antidepressants and seeing a therapist. But I don't think they’ve ever thought about it past that. If they have, they have certainly never confided in me. I think doing so would finally mean they have to admit to what life in our old house was really like.

My friends know a bit more. They at least know more about my struggles and the questions I need to answer for myself. Only a few know of the blog aspect. I hesitated to tell anyone.

“Hey, I’m going to be airing all of my dirty laundry online for the world to see, and you might be a part of it.”

Is not a conversation one wants to have with people they love.

But that’s the whole point of this. I need to work on myself and find what I want. My friends and family can either grow with me, or maybe it’s time to rethink how I fit certain people into my life.

Who the fuck knows how this is going to end, and who will be there when it does.